This Is A Video I Find Sexy!!!

ciao ciao Carolyn

Aleshia - Before & After Photos

The result of the voting is very clear - most want more Before & Afterr photos. But I am getting a little bit tired of just posting these. So, yes, I will post more Before & After photos, but I will also post some of the other things listed on the voting poll. OK?

Please use my Amazon Shop at the bottom of this page! It helps me to cover the costs of this site!

ciao ciao

Carolyn

Before and After Drag Queen Photos - Destiny

ciao ciao Carolyn

Diamond - a Drag Queen - Before and After

ciao ciao Carolyn

Xavier - Before and After

Xavier is a Mexican actor that had a make-over for a movie.

Before & After - Claire

ciao ciao Carolyn

Carolyn

Before & After - Aubrey

Isn't she pretty??? ciao ciao Carolyn PS - tell me if you like the Feminization Hypnosis process!

Feminization Hypnosis - Do You Want To FEEL Like A Woman?

Feminization Hypnosis ? Making You Feel From The Inside Out! Feminization Hypnosis MP3 The process that I want to talk about today is Feminization Hypnosis. I know - they sound like two different subjects, however together they can lead to amazing success and always the benefactor to get the life of their dreams. If you are a Transsexual, Transvestite or are Transgender then you will understand that a process like this is long over due. So before I explain the process, I want to go into a little more detail about the subjects separately. So lets kick off and start with FEMINIZATION and then we will get down to the nitty gritty of Hypnosis. Feminization is the process that one can go through to become more feminine.

If you are Transsexual, Transvestite or Transgender it is a way for you to allow your feminine attributes to flourish - allowing you can set the woman inside you free! Finally FEEL FREE AND FEMININE!!! Have you ever dreamt of just having everything just the way you want it? With feminization you can

talk with a more feminine voice,

walk with a more feminine step,

your mind will even be 're-programmed' to feel more feminine. Not only will the world see you as a woman, but you will also be secure in your femininity too. And now on to Hypnosis - Hypnosis can be briefly described as an altered state of consciousness, just like daydreaming. While in Hypnosis, changes can be made in the part of the mind that you don't consciously use, this is called the sub or unconscious mind. Also while in Hypnosis you will feel relaxed and comfortable and will be able to hear the hypnotists voice guide you to make the changes that you want to achieve. Hypnosis is a perfectly natural state, as I mentioned it's a bit like being in a daydream. You will know exactly what is going on around you, but also be so completely relaxed. Hypnotherapy is also about empowering the individual to make changes in their life. And let's see what happens when we put them together and we have Feminization Hypnosis.

Feminization Hypnosis MP3 So now with the amazing new technology of Feminizsation Hypnosis you needn't just feel like a woman but you could also be a woman. You have probably heard of the saying that 'if you send the mind then the body will follow'! Well this is true, as with Feminization Hypnosis, physical changes can even happen allowing you to achieve results that will amaze you now end. Your mind is the most powerful part of you and now you can use it to reach for your dreams. To take a closer look if you are ready to take this step in your transformation and to experience REAL feminine feelings, click here - > http://www.richardmackenzie.co.uk/affiliate/idevaffiliate.php?id=139 So whether you are wanting to achieve total, partial, un-forced, temporary or permanent feminization - Feminization Hypnosis is for you. Feminization Hypnosis MP3 Enjoy!!!! Carolyn

PS - Take alook just for FUN! Feminization Hypnosis MP3

Harisu - in Summer Summer

Enjoy! Carolyn

Harisu - The Music Video "Paradise"

Do you like Harisu and other Asian Transsexuals? Then give me an email. AND be sure to vote above! Thanks! Carolyn

A Very Sexy Video of Harisu - the Korean Transsexual

Enjoy! Carolyn

Can You Do Me Favor?

I would like to present in this transsexual site the types of transsexual content that you want to see. So please vote above on the poll. It is anonymous. No one sees who is voting for which type of transsexual content you want to see here. Thanks! Carolyn PS - take look at the Amazon Store at the bottom of this page for your transsexual needs.

Transsexual Before and After Pictures

Before & After - Denise

Isn't it amazing! The before and after photos of Denise are just incredible. To really see that it is one and the same person, look at her nose.

I INTENTIONALLY posted this for all of the older transvestites and transsexuals and crossdressers looking at my site. THERE IS HOPE!!!!!

You do not have to be 20 years old and thin as a rail to be an attractive woman. Denise proves that! Look with you own eyes. See what the right make-up, the right wig, the right styling can do to realize your dreams.

It can be done! If you are looking for breast forms, clothing or make-up, take alook at the Amazon Store at the bottom of this page. There are many things there that can help a transvestite, crossdresser or transexual.

ciao ciao

Carolyn

Before and After of Carrie

Take alook at my Amazon Shop at the bottom of this page to help me cover the costs of this site! OK!

ciao ciao

Carolyn

Albert - Alberta - Before and After

These photos are from the TV Series - He's Not A Lady. Enjoy! Carolyn

Me as Transgender of the Month

Just as Info - I was the Transgender of the Month on a German Site in July 2006.

Here is the link! http://www.transgender-net.de/leute/transgender-des-monats/tg-79.html

ciao ciao

Carolyn

Also In My Dreams.......

Also In My Dreams.......

Enjoy!!!

Carolyn

PS - take alook at my Amaz0n Shop at the bottom of this page. It helps me to cover the costs for this site!

Beautiful Before and After Pictures, and more.....

Hi Shirley in Hong Kong has a beautiful website - http://www.angelfire.com/punk/boylady/index.htm where she has bondage pictures and Before and After pictures of beautiful drag queens and transsexuals. I recommend taking a look! And Thanks!!!! to Shirley for telling me about her site. Hugs Carolyn

Also In My Dreams.......

Links to Some Beautiful Transsexuals

Some more links to beautiful transsexuals...... BananaTrans
Melanie Hikman
Alleika
Kelly Ohana
Claudia Candelore
Melina Vasconcellos
Mellyssa Maya
Bianca Carvalho
Gabriela Martins
Miriany Ribeiro
Fernanda Ferraz
Hilda Brazil
Barbara Kysivics
Chirra Beatriz
Renata Finsk
Nathalie Jolie
Mel Voguel
Isabela Medeiros
Larissa Close
Blog Travestis
Neilove Tgatas
Sampa Trans
Top Travesti
Tlover4ever
ciao ciao Carolyn

Wearing a Wig / Taking Care of a Wig

For those of you who want to go out as a woman, a wig is normally essential. So I thought I would post some info on this subject. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Question: How do I put my wig on? Answer: Give the wig a gentle shake. Identify the front and the back of the wig. The label always goes in the back. Note the Velcro tabs for sizing. Leave the tabs “as is” at first. You can adjust them later if necessary. Place the wig on a flat surface so you are looking inside the wig. Make sure the label is at the top (the label is at the back of the wig). Grasp the wig at the top (back), with your hands placed on each side of the label. Slip the wig over the head starting at the hairline and then towards the neck. The front of the wig should lie on the front hairline. The wig should feel secure, but not too tight. If needed, you can adjust the size with the Velcro tabs inside the wig. Question: How often should I wash my wig? Answer: The frequency of washing depends on factors such as air quality and humidity. Generally, a wig should be washed after it has been worn 8 – 12 times, but this can vary. Question: How do I wash my wig? Answer: Gently brush the wig thoroughly with a wig brush. Add one tablespoon of wig shampoo to a sink filled with cold water. Immerse wig for one minute and agitate gently. Do not rub. Rinse the wig gently in cold clear water twice or until thoroughly rinsed. Blot the wig gently with a towel. Do not squeeze or wring. Apply conditioning spray very lightly over wig, spraying 10-12 inches from the wig. Allow the wig to air dry on a slender object like a can of hairspray or a shampoo bottle covered with a hand towel. Styrofoam heads may stretch the cap. Do not use a hair dryer. Air dry only. You may gently style the wig with your fingertips. Brush wig only when completely dry. Do not allow the wig to dry in direct sunlight. Question: How do I style my wig? Answer: Your wig can be styled by using a wig brush, a wig comb, or your fingertips. Avoid using a brush designed for human hair. These brushes can create excessive tension, over-stretching the hair with abrasive strokes that may damage the hair. The wigs we carry are “shake & wear” and can be styled by simply using a wide tooth comb or your fingertips. The best styling tool is the most inexpensive; a spray bottle of clean, cool water. Lightly spritz your wig with water to remove static electricity and return your wig to its original look. To achieve style variations, liquid wig mousse is an essential styling tool. For curly or wavy styles, just mousse, hand scrunch, and pick the style into curls. On straight styles, mousse and brush lightly. Your wig was designed with a basic style but the variations you can achieve through styling are limitless. Added height can be achieved by gently lifting with the wig comb. If you want added fullness as well, tease or back-comb and then smooth the surface hair over the teasing. Your wig can be returned to its basic style by washing it and allowing it to air dry. To completely restyle, I recommend taking your wig to a professional stylist. Question: Can I cut my wig? Answer: Yes! Your wig comes pre-styled with a basic style, but we encourage our clients to have their wigs customized by a professional hair stylist. This is a great way to make the wig uniquely your own. Often, a little trim on the bangs and a little thinning here or there can make all the difference in the world. The wig should be cut while you are wearing it. Everyone has a different face shape, a different forehead length, and different style preferences. Seek out the assistance of experienced professional, and only allow the wig to be cut while it is on your head. Question: What should I avoid? Answer: Do not expose your wig to heat in excess of 160°. (Like opening an oven door, standing near a barbecue grill, etc.) This will damage the wig fibers. Any type of heat will cause wig fibers to frizz (lamps, ovens/stoves, heat from body). Do not brush your wig when wet. Do not use any form of curling irons, hot rollers or blow dryers. Again, heat will ruin the wig. Do not use products designed for regular human hair. Only use wig shampoo, wig conditioner, wig hair spray, wig mousse, and brushes or combs made especially for wigs. We sell these wig care products at a discounted price or they can also be purchased from any wig store. Do not use bleaches, colors, or rinses on your wig. We do not recommend wearing your wig in a swimming pool. Question: Do you have any final tips? Answer: Use products specifically designed for wigs. These products are created specifically for synthetic hair. They will keep the wig looking natural by not stripping away the color or the natural sheen. The use of these products will help the wig to last longer. Keep your wig stored on a wig stand or other "makeshift" item (such as a can of hairspray). This will help it hold its style and shape. Enjoy your wig and have fun wearing it!

A Few Links to Transsexual Sites

Tanssexual Links from Around the World Click on the links or the names to open a new window. You must be connected to Internet when you click on the link. http://www.sweet-porno.com/she-male/blonde-shemale/zilla.html http://gals.shemaleprivate.com/grooby/yum/40632/1.html http://www.handmadegalleries.com/stroker/pics/jens/index.htm http://www.orgy-tranny.com/022703/trannypic.html http://www.escort-shemales.com/promo/022/escorts.html http://www.freefetishseries.com/obr1410/02ets.html http://gals.shemaleprivate.com/grooby/yum/41137/1.html http://img.sex2inc.com/shemales/gallery/tsladies/xy/ http://gallery.shemaleis.com/g/tscum/s7/ http://gals.shemaleprivate.com/bobt/41673/1.html http://gals.shemaleprivate.com/tscum/28034/1.html http://www.tableporn.com/shemale/1080hshe106.html http://www1.asiansexyshemales.com/bobstgirls/x1/141.html http://www.asiansexyshemales.com/bobstgirls/x1/151.html http://www.asiansexyshemales.com/bobstgirls/x1/2112.html http://www.deluxeshemales.com/shemalemovies/n1bi.htm http://www.topshemales.net/galleries/gangbang2/hb.html http://www.hardcorevideos.org/aatransih/sheefitmale.html http://free.justmarriedgays.com/natasha00/A68H3ACQ http://free.justmarriedgays.com/natasha00/A68H448P http://free.justmarriedgays.com/natasha00/A68H448Q http://free.justmarriedgays.com/natasha00/A68H4AGQ http://sex2inc.com/shemales/gallery/cartoon/ http://sex2inc.com/shemales/gallery/cartoon69/ http://www.animepicture.ws/sample/hs08/hentai-shemale-18.html http://www.animepicture.ws/sample/hs33/hentai-tranny-17.html http://www.animepicture.ws/sample/hs06/hentai-shemale-18.html http://www.animepicture.ws/sample/hs24/pichunter.html http://www.animepicture.ws/sample/hs07/hentai-shemale-15.html http://www.messy-comics.net/tranny/cartoons.html Enjoy! Carolyn

A Beautiful Video - Thanks to Vickie Davis!

Vicki uploaded this video, and I love it! In addition, I am totally ENVIOUS of the woman in the video! Wow, would I like to have her shape! ciao ciao Carolyn

A Native American Perspective on the Theory of Gender Continuum

A Native American Perspective on the Theory of Gender Continuum by DRK Many of the world’s cultures recognize more than two genders. The notion that there are those of us who do not fit precisely into either a male or female role has historically been accepted by many groups. Among Native Americans, the role of third, fourth, or even fifth genders has been widely documented. Children, who were born physically male or female and yet showed a proclivity for the opposite gender, were encouraged to live out their lives in the gender role, which fit them best. The term used by Europeans to describe this phenomenon is Berdache. "Indians have options not in terms of either/or, opposite categories, but in terms of various degrees along a continuum between masculine and feminine (Williams 80)." A berdache was one who was defined by spirituality, androgyny, women’s work and male/male homosexual relationships (127). The berdache could adopt the clothing of women, associate and be involved with women, do the work normally associated with women, marry a man and take part in many spiritual ceremonies of the tribe. Female versions of the role also occurred, but are less well documented and will not be discussed in this paper. Generosity and spirituality more than homosexuality and gender characterized berdachism. In the traditional tribal sense, these roles have often been ones associated with great respect and spiritual power. Rather than being viewed as an aberration, the role was seen as one, which bridged the gap between the temporal and spirit worlds. The spiritual aspect of the berdache role was emphasized far more than the homosexual or gender variant aspect. Because of this, berdaches were highly valued by the people of the tribe. Given the choice between discarding or honoring a person, who did not fit neatly into rigid gender compartments, many Native American groups chose to find a productive and venerated place for the berdache. A Crow traditionalist says, "We don’t waste people the way white society does. Every person has their gift ( 57)." According to the Mohave creation story, "Ever since the world began, there have been transvestites, and from the beginning of the world, it was meant that there should be homosexuals. (Roscoe, ed. 39)." With the arrival of European settlers and pressure from Christian and governmental sources, the tradition of the berdache changed in dramatic ways. The homosexual aspect of the role was all that was seen by the whites. The white powers attempted to remove all traces of berdachism. As Native Americans began to convert to Christianity, internal pressure developed to disown the berdache tradition within the Indian Nations. Although pockets of traditional berdache practice survived, these were seen primarily among the old. As these people began to die off, the tradition, which had gone underground for the most part, was lost to upcoming generations. In the last three decades, interest has been rekindled in the tradition. Disenfranchised Native American gays and lesbians searching for a means to access their spiritual heritage looked to the traditions and found much in the berdache role. As groups became reacquainted with the role, questions arose about its definition and application. Still in the formative stage, the reexamination of berdachism has provided many with a foothold by which they are able to step back into becoming meaningful members of society. Lee Staples, founder of American Indian Gays and Lesbians, said "… I thought all there was to our lives as gays was the bar scene and sex, but to explain our lives as Indian gays and lesbians is to look at our spiritual journeys. It has much more depth on a spiritual level (Roscoe, Changing 108)." Some Native Americans object to the very word used to describe the special role of berdache. Some sources say the term has its origins in an Arab word for male prostitute or "kept" boy and was coined not by the Indians, but by Europeans. Will Roscoe, author of several books on the topic states the problems involved with choosing a term "creates as many problems as they solve, beginning with the mischaracterization of the history and meaning of the word berdache. As a Persian term, its origins are Eastern, not Western. Nor is it a derogatory term, except to the extent that all terms for nonmarital sexuality in European societies carried a measure of condemnation. It was rarely used with the force of faggot, but more often as a euphemism with a sense of lover or boyfriend. (17)." Those who object to the term feel the implications are derogatory and insulting. In addition and perhaps more importantly, it is felt the term berdache does not speak to the many facets of the role. This is of course very true as the role has many variations and aspects. All tribes that recognized the role, had their own terms for it. Using these terms would be ideal, but as Roscoe also points out, " …in order to speak of traditional statuses generally, to compare roles of different tribes and those for males to those of females, it is necessary to have an umbrella term to refer to the subject. (19)". Out of respect for the Native American culture, much deliberation took place about whether to use the term berdache or to substitute some other term for it in the remainder of this paper. Although the term Two Spirit has come into vogue among Native Americans, I have chosen to follow Mr. Roscoe’s decision to use the term berdache. Much of the anger and frustration expressed about the use of the term stemmed from Native people’s experience of being studied and often misinterpreted by white anthropologists and is therefore certainly acknowledged. Considering Will Roscoe’s well-respected position within the area of study and his obvious good intentions and love for the people, I feel confident in following his lead. The following is a very limited glimpse into the amazingly complex world and history of the berdache. TRADITIONAL PERSPECTIVE The consideration of alternative genders does not come easy to most Americans, but many traditional Native American tribes had no trouble accepting berdache into their midst. The concept of a gender continuum, completely separate from biological sex types is something widely accepted by Native cultures. Many native religions explain the concept of the berdache. The Arapaho of the plains believe the role existed due to supernatural gifts from birds or animals (Williams 22). The Creation story of the Colorado Mohave "speaks of a time when people were not sexually differentiated". In the Omaha language, the term for berdache meant, "instructed by the Moon" (29). Many myths warned not to try to interfere with the fulfillment of the role. Consequences could be dire and sometimes resulted in death (23). In a similar vein, the belief was strong that no one should not resist spiritual guidance when lead to follow the berdache path (30). This, combined with a level of respect sometimes bordering on fear, lead to acceptance with blind faith that the berdache was indeed a gift to the tribe; someone to be honored and cherished. Many tribes believed that the person was lead by a spiritual experience into the role. A boy was never forced into the role but rather was allowed to explore his natural inclination (24). They often went through some sort of ceremony to determine their path. Because berdaches were believed to have great spiritual vision, they were often viewed as prophets (42). The following sentence seems to sum up the overall feeling of the Native American about differences among their people. " By the Indian view, someone who is different offers advantages to society precisely because he or she is freed from the restrictions of the usual. It is a different window from which to view the world." In 1971, a Sioux shaman interviewed a winkte (berdache). "He told me that if nature puts a burden on a man by making him different, it also gives him a power" (42). The Zapotec Indians around the Oaxaca area in Mexico, staunchly defend their berdache’s right to adopt different gender and sex roles because "God made them that way."(49). The emphasis in defining the role is placed on the person’s character and spirit and not on the sexual aspects. VARIOUS NAMES Nearly all tribes honoring the berdache status had different names for the roles. Most sources used suggest using the specific name associated with the tribe and this was done whenever possible The Lakota call their berdache Winktes. The Mohave call theirs alyha. Lhamana is the Zuni word for berdache as is nadleeh among the Navajo. There are literally dozens of others; most being variations on a general root word that is used in a certain geographic area (Roscoe, Changing 213-222). The berdache role also exists among peoples of the Southern American continent and various other places in the world as well. In Mexico, Zapotec people call their berdache ira’ muxe (Williams 49).. Some Definitions There are many definitions of being berdache. Some of the many found are listed below. 1) "Berdache has been employed to refer to special gender roles in Native American cultures that anthropologists have interpreted as ceremonial transvestitism, institutionalized homosexuality and gender variance/multiple genders." (Jacobs, Thomas and Lang 4). 2) "…..a berdache can be defined as a morphological male who does not fill a standard society’s man’s role, who has a nonmasculine character (Williams 2)." 3) In 1975, in their book, The Female of the Species, Martin and Voorhies wrote, "sex differences need not necessarily be perceived as bipolar. It seems possible that reproductive bisexuality establishes a minimal number of socially recognized physical sexes, but these need not be limited to two (Roscoe, Changing 123)." 4) In The Zuni Man/Woman , author, Will Roscoe describes the famous We’Wha as "a man who combined the work and social roles of men and women, an artist and a priest who dressed, at least in part, in women’s clothes (Roscoe, Zuni 2)." Anthropologist, Evelyn Blackwood felt "The berdache gender is not a deviant role; nor a mixture of the two genders, nor less a jumping from one gender to its opposite, nor is it an alternative role behavior for nontraditional individuals who are still considered men and women. Rather it comprises a separate gender within a multiple gender system (Roscoe, Changing 123)." Suffice it to say the subject is complex and often seems to defy description. There are common attributes, however. These vary from group to group, but a core set of four traits is shared. Specialized work roles- Male and female berdaches are typically described in terms of their preference and achievements in the work of the "opposite" sex and/or unique activities specific to their identities. Gender difference - In addition to work preferences, berdaches are distinguished from men and women in terms of temperament, dress, lifestyle and social roles. Spiritual sanction - Berdache identity is widely believed to be the result of supernatural intervention in the form of visions or dreams, and/or it is sanctioned by tribal mythology. Same-sex relations - Berdaches most often form sexual and emotional relationships with non berdache members of their own sex" (Roscoe, Changing 8). SPECIALIZED WORK ROLES AND GENDER DIFFERENCE The role of berdache was determined during childhood. Parents would watch a child who seemed to have a tendency toward living as berdache and would assist him in pursuing it rather than discouraging him. At some point, usually around puberty, a ceremony would be performed which would formalize a boy’s adoption of the role. One ceremony commonly practiced involved placing a man’s bow and arrow and a woman’s baskets in a brush enclosure. The boy went inside the enclosure that was then set on fire. What he took with him as he ran to escape the flames was believed to be indicative of his spiritual guidance to follow or not to follow the berdache path (Williams 24). It is important to remember that Indians do not consider this role one that is a matter of personal choice. They generally believe that one who follows the path is following his own spiritual guidance. The important feature here is living a life true to one’s spiritual path. In most cases, a person assumes berdache status for life, but in the case of a nineteenth-century Klamath berdache named Lele’ks, the role was abandoned. He began wearing men’s clothing, acting like a man and married a woman. His reason for doing so was because he had been instructed to do so by the Spirits. Following spiritual direction is the key issue in assumption or abandonment of the role (25). "Of those who became berdaches, the other Indians would say that since he had been ‘claimed by a Holy Woman, ‘ nothing could be done about it. Such persons might be pitied because of the spiritual responsibilities they held, but they were treated as mysterious and holy, and were respected as benevolent people who assisted others in time of starvation (30)." Berdaches excel in weaving, beadwork, and pottery; arts associated almost solely with the women of the tribe. We’Wha, a famous Zuni berdache was an accomplished weaver and potter as well as a sash and blanket maker. Her pottery was sold for twice that of other potters in the village (Roscoe, Zuni 50-52). Berdache men are also involved with cooking, tanning, saddle-making, farming, gardening, raising children, basket-making (Williams 58-59). One notable attribute of the berdache is that the work of these people is greatly prized both within and without the tribe. "To tell a woman that her craft-work is as a good as a berdache’s is not sexist, but rather the highest compliment" (59) Because of their superior quality, work done by the berdache is highly valued by collectors and tribal members as well. There is a belief that some of the spiritual power of the maker has been transferred to the craft itself. Some believe that the exquisite art is itself a manifestation of that power (60). In addition to craftwork, berdaches are known to be strong family and community members. They were traditionally considered assets to the tribe and were sources of great pride. A man raised with his berdache cousin said, "The boy lived as though he had some higher understanding of life (52)." Many berdaches adopt children and are known to be excellent parents and teachers. Native Americans as a whole readily accept adoption of children and traditionally share in child rearing among their kin (55). They excel at cooking, cleaning and all other domestic duties. Many, such as We’Wha, took great pride in being able to provide their families with the ultimate in comfort, nourishment and nurturing. Throughout the literature there are references to the berdache finding no greater purpose than that of serving his fellow tribesmen. Hastiin Klah, a famous Navajo shaman and berdache was written about with much love and respect by the wealthy Bostonian, Mary Cabot Wheelwright. " I grew to respect and love him for his real goodness, generosity –and holiness, for there is no other word for it…. When I knew him he never kept anything for himself. It was hard to see him almost in rags at his ceremonies, but what was given to him he seldom kept, passing it on to someone who needed it… Everything was the outward form of the spirit world that was very real to him (Roscoe, ed. Living 63)." In terms of child rearing and education, the berdache fulfil an important role. They not only adopt children of their own; they are often involved with the care of other’s children. One of the best examples of this is within the Zuni culture. All adult members consider themselves responsible for the behavior of all the children within the tribe. An adult passing the misbehaving child of another will correct the child. We’Wha was reported to have benefited from this as a child herself and became noted for her excellent way with children as she matured and became a berdache (Roscoe, Changing 36). Today, the practice of berdaches being involved in child rearing persists and seems to be gaining importance in tribes where abuse and alcoholism abound. "Terry Calling Eagle, a Lakota berdache, states, ‘I love children, and I used to worry that I would be alone without children. The Spirit said he would provide some. Later, some kids of drunks who did not care for them were brought to me by neighbors. The kids began spending more and more time here, so finally the parents asked me to adopt them.’ After those children were raised, Terry was asked to adopt others. In all, he has raised seven orphan children, one of whom was living with him when I was there. This boy, a typical masculine seventeen-year-old, interacts comfortably with his winkte parent. After having been physically abused as a young child by alcoholic parents, he feels grateful for the stable, supportive atmosphere in his adoptive home. (Williams 56)." The berdache role is most often characterized by a tendency to a pacific temperament, but they were known to go to war or on hunts on a regular basis. Some cultures took the berdache along to do the cooking, washing, caring for the camp and tending to the wounded. Their presence among the warriors was valued because of their special spiritual powers. Occasionally, a berdache would participate directly in warfare. This dispels the argument among early anthropologists that the role was adopted as a means of avoiding warfare. The Crow berdache Osh-Tisch, which means Finds Them and Kills Them got his name by turning warrior for one day in 1876. He took part in an attack on the Lakota and was distinguished for his bravery (68-69). Because of their unique position as neither male nor female, berdache would act as counselors for marital conflict. Among the Omaha tribe, they were even paid for this service. Berdache also performed the role of matchmaker. When a young man wanted to send gifts and get the attention of a young woman, the berdache would often act as ago between with the girl’s family (70-71). One of the most notable aspects of the berdache is their association with wealth and prosperity. Because they were subject to menstruation, pregnancy or tied down to nursing infants, they were able to work during times when women could not. In addition, their greater musculature made them strong and able to endure long days of hard labor. They were known to do almost twice the work of a woman. "…the berdache is ever ready for service, and is expected to perform the hardest labors of the female department (58-59). " When a man wished to marry a berdache often her ability and inclination to work hard was a large part of the attraction. Although there is much fluidity in alternate gender behavior, a berdache reaches some absolutes when it comes to adopting biological female roles. This limitation has not eliminated attempts at mimicking such female biological processes such as menstruation and pregnancy. The Mohave alyha were known to have gone to great lengths to simulate mock pregnancies. They would self induce constipation and then "deliver" a stillborn fecal fetus. Appropriate mourning rites and burial were performed with the involvement of the alyha’s husband. Alyha also simulated menstruation through scratching their legs until they bled. They would then require their husbands to observe all the taboos associated with menstruation. They had never been observed attempting to nurse infants, however (Roscoe, Changing 141). Sometimes an alyha would fake a pregnancy to stop her husband from trying to leave or divorce her on the grounds of infertility (Roscoe, ed. 38). Certainly one of the most entertaining stories associated with the berdache adoption of female dress and attitude comes from We’Wha. In 1886, she went to Washington DC to meet President Grover Cleveland accompanied by anthropologist and debutante, Matilda Coxe Stevenson. Because she passed easily as a woman, she was allowed into the ladies rooms and boudoirs of the elite. She delighted in telling the Zuni upon arriving home that "the white women were mostly frauds, taking out their false teeth and ‘rats’ from their hair." One woman gossiped, "To hear Mrs. Stevenson give Waywah’s description of the way a society lady in Washington ‘makes herself young again’ was exceedingly amusing (Roscoe, Zuni 71)." SPIRITUAL SANCTION The traditional berdache was known for living within a strong moral code. Their ethics were above reproach and they were valued as peacemakers and settlers of disputes (Williams 41). They accepted the duties of the role and tried to exceed the expectations of others in how well they performed. Not only were they adept at settling disagreements among tribe members, but they also could act as intercessors between the physical and the spiritual world (41). The tribes held them in great esteem and were quite respectful and often frightened of their connection with the spirit world. This seems to be one reason traditional berdaches were not harassed or bothered. Most tribes believed it very dangerous to attempt to interact with the spiritual realm and felt fortunate to have a berdache in their midst to perform that task. Although berdache often fulfilled the role of caring for the sick and wounded, they were not usually shaman, but rather ones to whom the shaman would turn for guidance. As a Lakota stated, "Winktes can be medicine men, but are usually not because they already have the power (36)." Berdaches were closely associated with dreams and visions. In some cultures dreams were believed simply to guide the person and, as such were considered a benevolent force. In others, such as the Maricopa, adoption of the berdache role was associated with "too much" dreaming (Roscoe, Changing 145-146). Among the Plains tribes, it was the berdache who was assigned to bless the sacred pole for the Sun Dance ceremony, the most important religious rite of the culture. Their association with anything on a spiritual plane brought luck to the ritual or the person involved. Berdaches are often in charge of preparing the dead for burial. Among the Yokuts, tongochim were so esteemed, they were allowed to keep any of the deceased’s belongings they chose (Williams 60). In the Potawatomi tribe if a berdache groomed the hair of a man going on a hunt, it was thought to provide "special spiritual advantage and protection for the hunter (36-37)." Although they could be among the most gentle and loving members of a group, if crossed, they could become vindictive and formidable foes, a characteristic, which underscores the mystery and power of the role (103). In relation to the spiritual nature of the role, people approached their relationships with the berdache, as they would have with a deity, with awe, respect and a sense of acceptance without needing to fully understand. SAME-SEX RELATIONS As opposed to European views of sexuality, Native Americans experience sex as more than a means of reproduction. It is also an activity to be enjoyed and appreciated. Sexual pleasure is considered a gift from the spirit world. As a result, most traditional tribes felt no inhibition in regard to sexual relations. Children were exposed to the sight of adults having sex and some ceremonies involved sex on an orgy level (88). Additionally, sexual contact was not necessarily limited to one’s spouse or to the opposite sex; thus same sex activity was not the exclusive realm of the berdache (90-91). There are some characteristics of the sexual practices of berdache, which differ from those of other same sex relationships. Berdaches almost always observe an incest taboo which involves the avoidance of sex with another berdache. One explanation for this is that sexual partner of the berdache must, by nature, be masculine (93). This belief is consistent with the emphasis on the gender aspects of the role rather than the sexual aspects. It also dovetails with the information on berdache marriages to masculine men. In these unions, the berdache is considered a wife and is valued by the husband not only for the domestic duties the berdache performs, but also for the socially acceptable homosexual relationship. In a sense, Native American cultures have institutionalized and socially sanctioned homosexual relations by utilizing the berdache role as the preferred same sex partner. When men want to have male/male sex, they are encouraged to do so with a berdache (95). The usual sexual behavior of the berdache is to take the passive role in anal intercourse. At times they may indulge in oral sex or take the active role in anal intercourse, but this is not widely talked about. If a berdache wishes to take an active role, it is usually done only in secret and with a partner who can be trusted not to talk. This is also true of the feelings of the man involved with a berdache. If he wishes to assume the passive role, he will try to keep the activity secret. Another distinctive aspect of berdache sex is that during foreplay and actual intercourse they generally do not like to have their genitals touched. "…. Intercourse with an alyha is surrounded by an etiquette to which the partner had better conform; or else the man could get in all sorts of trouble. Kuwal, a Mohave man who had several alyha as wives, said "they insisted on having their penis referred to as cunnus (clitoris) (97)." "…. I never dared touch the penis in erection except during intercourse. You’d court death otherwise, because they would get violent if you play with their erect penis too much (98)." Berdaches frequently are available for sex with both unmarried adolescent boys and married men who occasionally seek out same sex partners. Because of this, female prostitution is not needed. Traditional berdaches were also available as sexual partners during hunts and in war parties (102). This was yet another reason why they were welcomed on these excursions. CYBER CONTACT and CONCLUSION During research on the Internet, I came across the website of Berdache Jordan, an "Other". His site is listed under "Hermaphrodite-The Other Gender" and he states he is a true genetic hermaphrodite, having the rare DNA karyotype XXXY (mosaic). He has both male and female characteristics. From a scientific standpoint one theory that explains his genetic makeup is that his mother produced two ova and the eggs were fertilized separately as fraternal twins. Sometime during the gestation, the two eggs merged. If one egg was destined to be male and the other female, the ambiguous gender of hermaphrodite could occur. There is a chance this could have been caused by incest, which is a distinct possibility in this case according to his writing. Another possible cause could have been fertility drugs, but these were not available at the time. At the time of his birth, he was assigned as an "open birth" meaning the medical staff could not determine his sex. In a subsequent e-mail to me, he described himself as an "abandoned, premature miscarriage." Later he was given two birth certificates and finally was legally recorded as a male. He was given an ambiguous gender nickname along with both a girl’s and a boy’s name by his foster parents. During his years as a child growing up, several members of his family abused him in every way imaginable. At age sixteen, he was able to put a stop to the most invasive sexual abuse by taking massive doses of testosterone to maximize his secondary male sex characteristics. He was abused by both sexes and stated that there seemed to be a need for these people to live out their sexual fantasies with him as the victim. Berdache Jordan alludes to having been in several all male environments such as the military, jails and prisons and passing as a macho male during that time. He states he did not succumb to homosexual relations during this time, even though they were common in prison, especially. He was too inhibited and traumatized by his abuse history. "Actually, the only way I could even have a homosexual relationship would be to have sex with someone like myself (not likely)." He married and divorced two "normal" women and raised three children as a single parent. He writes eloquently about the pain and healing that have been the substance of his life. He is writing a book titled Masquerade which is close to publication. In one of his e-mails, he wrote, "As to your ‘I began to wonder how present day transgender people were feeling’, I can’t answer this as I am not now ‘transforming to some other gender, nor am I transforming my biological sex (as in transsexual). I am intersexual, of both sexes." He goes on to explain his attempts to pass as masculine through hormone supplements and concludes with, "I contributed to society as a male, better perhaps than some who were born of the single male sex. Were circumstances different I could have contributed and performed as a female too. How well we will never know, as I have the legal identity as a male, assigned by our western culture, which denies my existence except as a single sexed person. Every social application form has a limited answer to the blank Male----- Female-----. Choose one or we will. It is the path of least resistance… and the law. If your question above was addressed to me… how intersexuals are feeling, I would have to answer, denied, disenfranchised, occasionally happy, productive at times, sad and human X two." After "meeting" this man via the Internet, the far-reaching possibilities of the berdache role began to shift and deepen for me. I was struck with the realization that although Berdache Jordan does not fit the precise definition of the word, there is a sense that this is the perfect title for him. It seemed perhaps to speak to some of psychological healing he seems to have done. It seems to imply a return to a healthy way of perceiving his existence on this planet. His journey must be a very difficult one and I like to think that having the ability to assume an identity that seems to suit him even if it is not totally accurate according to the literature seems right somehow. There must be others like him and perhaps rekindling the traditional can help the healing process. In a world where differences are sought out and exaggerated, is this a traditional role that perhaps can embrace and empower those who would otherwise be without definition? Does the spiritual basis of the role give a sense of purpose and of belonging to the universal human family? In the cold and sterile medical world, does the berdache role offer nurturing and being seen and appreciated for being different? In a society that must have people categorized, does the role provide a delicious array of variations? I like to think so. WORKS CITED Jacobs, Sue-Ellen, Wesley Thomas, and Sabine Long. Two-Spirit People. Urbana and Chicago: University of Illinois Press, 1997. Jordan, Berdache. A Berdache’s Odyssey. 1997. Online. Internet. 4 April 1999. Available Jordan,Berdache. "Re: Just Touching Base." E-mail to the author. 01 April 1999. Roscoe,Will. Changing Ones: Third and Fourth Genders in Native North America.New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1998. Roscoe, Will, ed. Living the Spirit: A Gay American Indian Anthology. Complied by Gay American Indians. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1988. ---.The Zuni Man-Woman.Albuquerque: University of New Mexico Press, 1991. Williams, Walter L.The Spirit and the Flesh, Sexual Diversity in the American Indian Culture.Boston: Beacon Press, 1986.

Vickie Davis - one hot girl!!!

Blogging is fun, and a new girl on the block is Vicki Davis. Her blog is prettier than mine!!!! And she has talent! Go take alook at http://vickiedavis.blogspot.com/

She also has more interesting info about Betty Crow and wife.

Betty is the husband of Helen Boyd of My Husband Betty fame.http://vickiedavis.blogspot.com/search/label/Betty

The support group scene from All My Children is http://vickiedavis.blogspot.com/2007/03/support-group-scene-from-all-my.html

Hi Vicki & Welcome!

Carolyn

Example of Developing a Feminine Voice

Do you want to know more about developing a feminine voice on this site??? Then give me an email. ciao ciao Carolyn

Kyra - Her Transsexual Introduction

If you want to see more of Kyra, give me an email. ciao ciao Carolyn

Attention - Live Version - All the Women are Transsexuals

ciao ciao Carolyn PS - look at the Amazon Store at the bottom for your needs!!!

Some Old Photos of Myself --------

I have changed my look since these photos. But some of you have asked me in emails to put up more photos of myself.

These photos were taken at a party in Timp in Cologne, Germany. www.timp.de

Timp is a transsexual Show Bar that has been around for over 30 years.

ciao ciao

Carolyn

Transgender Ad from Italy

ciao ciao bello! Carolyn

American Immigrant Transsexuals - 4

ciao ciao Carolyn

American Immigrant Transsexuals - 3

Enjoy! Carolyn PS - Take alook at the Amazon Shop at the bottom of this page.

American Immigrant Transsexuals - 2

ciao ciao Carolyn

American Immigrant Transsexuals - 1

Enjoy Carolyn

More of the Steve Stanton Story

Steve Stanton's story 'I can't walk away, it's not in my nature': An interview with Largo's suddenly famous transsexual city manager BY DAVID WARNER A few weeks ago, Largo City Manager Steve Stanton had never heard of the acronym LGBT (for lesbian/ gay/ bisexual/ transgendered) . On Sunday, when he was spotted by a group of lesbian volleyballers on a beach in Gulfport, they broke into spontaneous applause. It's been that kind of a week for Stanton. Prior to his brush with beachfront fame, he'd been talking with me in the Gulfport hangout Cahill's --- one in a long line of media encounters he'd been having or was about to have, from a Newsweek photo shoot at the Vinoy to appearances on Nightline and CNN with Paula Zahn. He'd been in the public eye for years as city manager, but had never experienced this kind of attention. He didn't plan for it to happen this way. He had hoped, once he'd told a select few in Largo city government hat he was transitioning from male to female, that he could reveal the information according to a carefully calibrated plan, one that allowed time for policies to be adjusted and shock to die down. But that was not to be. The information about his transgender status was leaked to the St. Petersburg Times, the Times ran a story on its website, and before he'd even had a chance to tell his own son, he was all over the news. And when the Largo City Commission voted Tuesday to place him on administrative leave with intent to dismiss, he went from local notoriety to international cause celebre. Stanton and I covered a range of topics during our interview. Stanton's lawyer, Karen Doering, senior counsel for the Southern regional office of the National Center for Lesbian Rights, was also present. The conversation was wide-ranging, touching on the events of the past two weeks but also going back to Stanton's childhood memories, and looking ahead to the broader implications of transgender rights. A slightly built man with candid blue eyes and blonde hair that's beginning to cover his ears, Stanton spoke forthrightly, suggesting the self-confidence that has marked his tenure as Largo's head honcho. He slouched into his barstool at times, though, his face squinching up with bemusement at his inadvertent fame. Audio from the interview will be available here later this week; the following is an edited transcript. A shorter version appeared in the March 7 print edition of Creative Loafing. Neither Stanton nor Doering would confirm that they would be filing an appeal of the commission's decision. We discussed some of the legal ins and outs before I asked about a comment he'd made during the hearing on Feb. 27. You said in the hearing that you wouldn't sue the city. SS: Yeah, I certainly alluded to that -- and I guess one of the things I certainly was not prepared for since the time of that meeting is the number of Largo residents who have called and expressed their disappointment and their anger [at the commission's decision]. All of a sudden in many ways this issue is no longer about Steve Stanton -- I think there's a bigger issue that may be addressed as well. What about the language in the city's employment policy, implemented in October of 2003 [that included language prohibiting discrimination in the workplace by any city employee on the basis of "gender identity or expression"] ? KD: In Florida it's not clear that it's a violation of law to ignore your own employment policies. [But] the fact that city has this policy, and they ignored it, may be evidence of their animus and their discriminatory bias. There are no explicit laws in the state of Florida or in federal laws that say you cannot discriminate based on sex orientation or gender identity, but there are ... claims that can be made under sex stereotyping or disability laws that do protect transgendered people -- so employers are subject to potential legal liability for that kind of discrimination. The appropriate thing to do in this situation would have been to complete the transition plan that the city was working on, provide the kind of educational trainings that the city had already begun, the mayor and human resources had already started. Then if there were employees who couldn't deal with it or who engaged in discriminatory behavior, what you do is you discipline the discriminating employee, you don't fire the person who makes other people uncomfortable. Bottom line is, [the city] violated its own policy. KD: Absolutely. You went to the mayor in January. That was the first time she knew? SS: Oh yeah, yeah. Mayor Gerard's reaction was anticipated but not taken for granted. She listened -- it was a very emotional discussion on my part -- and after two, maybe two and a half hours I completed my, um, discussion and said 'What do you think?' and she said "You didn't ever doubt that I would support you, did you?" Had you told your wife at this point? SS: Oh, yeah, yeah, I sure did. That was how long before that? SS: This thing started in our life almost 12 years ago. You've been married... since 1990? SS: Since 1990, yeah, yeah. The whole issue of transgendered people, you very much go through a spectrum of experiences, You don't really know where you're going to stop or continue to, until you go through that process. Certainly when we first started it, it was simply "I'm comfortable cross-dressing at times," but that really wasn't it at all, it was something substantially ... more profound than that. Which you'd been aware of since you were a kid, right? SS: Yeah, but I was in denial, no one thinks that they're going to change their gender...It' s one of those things that you think is fixed until you learn otherwise. So after going through the Human Rights Ordinance [voted down in Largo in 2003] and seeing the number of people that came forward and the courage that they showed, as well as the clash of two worlds ... up until then I had always been able to keep my transgender world and my professional world separate but that experience told me that maybe I wasn't going to be able to do that in perpetuity. But more significantly it was just tiresome trying to live a life of two genders, and that began a very therapeutic intense conversation with a group of professionals that got me to the point where I am today. So there were times throughout those 12 years when you tried cross-dressing in settings other than Largo? SS: Oh absolutely, yeah. Describe that. SS: One of the things that has been probably the most distressful in this whole process is people focusing on the physical manifestation of dressing. Transsexualism has nothing to do with dressing. So I don't want to dwell on it a lot. But certainly after you get, at some point when you realize my gender is wrong, then the question becomes can I live life comfortably in another gender? Some people can't, for a number of reasons, some physical, some psychological. So before you start hormonal therapy you need to be pretty sure you want to start changing your body, and before you start considering gender reassignment, what the average person equates to sex change, before you start cutting into healthy flesh, you need to be absolutely sure that this is something that not only you want, but that you can do in the real world. We do that. We're required through the medical protocol to work very closely with our therapists and try to insure that the gender we relate to in fact is something we can live in some point in the future. And that took place over the last five or so years, absolutely. So you started seeing a therapist after the debate over the HRO, or had you already...? SS: Well I was thinking ... what really was the thing that was the most profound experience -- I attended a pretty select class [Executive Leadership Institute for local and state executives in 2006] at Harvard. That's what the shirt is about. SS: Yeah -- we talked about transformational leadership. Transformational leadership takes on a whole other... SS: Another connation ... but it talks about the whole issue of comfort zones, how we all get very comfortable in our personal and professional lives and we stop growing, and I realized that so much of my hesitation was not really the physical manifestation, the changes, as much as the loss of prestige that one inherits as a white male. It was almost a profound experience that if I'm gonna get where I'm gonna be, I'm gonna have to leave the safe world where I learned to hide and step out and start to live. Everybody in the class was challenged to do that in ways that was a very emotional experience for a group of 67 professionals from all over the world that culminated literally in people crying at the end of the class. Have you heard from any of your classmates? SS: Absolutely, yeah. Did you talk about this issue there? SS: I was called on the issue there How were you called on it? SS: The experience is a very introspective, reflective process, and at one point I said I can't participate, I cannot disclose very intimate details about who I am. Oh, they must have jumped on that. SS: Yeah, and there were a number of people in the class who were sponsored from the Victory Fund that supports openly gay and lesbian elected officials. We had a number of those folks and they kind of drug me off to the side. And what did they do? They said, "OK, what is your secret? We're going to take a guess, and if that's your secret you better not keep it in the closet?" SS: I haven't discussed this with many people. Yeah, we did -- we talked about the courage it's going to take. What was their question? SS: Two or three different people in top positions in the country who had dealt with discrimination as gay elected officials gave me a lot of advice, but the issue of transgenderism is substantially different than that, and a lot of the experiences they had are not necessarily applicable to a transsexual at the same level in their respective careers. So you were able to share with them, though, that you were transsexual -- or transgender. Which term do you prefer, by the way? SS: I like transgender, but it's very nondescript, but transsexual is how most people know it even though it has a negative connotation to it. So you told them. SS: Yeah, three of those people knew. So then you had the discussion -- and did you then come out to the entire group? SS: No, this was not a group discussion. So that was a major turning point for you. Had you started -- you have started hormonal treatments, is that correct? SS: Oh yeah, yeah. How long have those been going on? SS: Almost for about two years -- year and a half, two years, in that area. So, 2005. SS: Yeah, yeah. And, and, and you've -- Here's the question... SS: The question, I'm ready, go for it, the question. ...that comes with all of these folks who are using it as an excuse [to ask for his dismissal]: "Well he's deceived us, Why didn't he tell us this?" SS: That is the 10-dollar question, because the whole aspect of deception is relevant not only to your job, it's relevant to your parents, it's relevant to your wife. What people don't understand is because this phenomena is so misunderstood and so stigmatized, that even the people that wake up as small children and know that there's something profoundly different [about] them have no healthy outlet to really express it, to come to terms with it, to understand it and to receive support in coming to terms with it. This is not something you tell somebody: "I'm a transsexual, don't tell anybody." Invariably because of the negative connotation it's something that's highly closeted, highly compartmentalized and absolutely protected. I conveyed in my letter to employees, I've taken extraordinary steps to make sure that nobody would ever know this including my parents and my family. They didn't know about this either. You didn't tell your parents? SS: I never told my parents. I told my dad 10 minutes prior to the news conference. Good heavens. SS: That's what he said. About that news conference or about the revelation? SS: About the revelation. I don't think it's still sunk in. It's not a matter of deception, it's a matter of helplessness, because you just don't know. Especially for someone in your position. SS: Oh, absolutely. Yeah, I mean, I was worried about this type of outcome, but I was also absolutely confident that Largo is in fact a City of Progress, and if the transition plan that we developed had been implemented Largo had the capacity to embrace the diversity. I absolutely believe that. And I think the recent poll in the Pinellas County area which included Largo absolutely confirmed that to me, absolutely, without a doubt. Do you have any resentment toward the Times for letting this out of the bag? SS: No, I mean, the Times reported the news, they don't make news. They acted very responsibly, I think. So two years in hormone treatment and that resulted in some changes in your body... Did anybody remark on this? SS: Yeah, everybody was wondering, are you ok? Because it was a weight loss result for you. SS: Weight loss -- and some parts of your body get smaller, and some get larger. Your complexion changes, your skin tonation changes, your emotions change. Men have the ability to decide to be emotional. Once your body chemistry changes, you don't. And people would often comment about that. Really? Can you describe the difference between Steve Stanton the man and Steve the transitioning woman, in terms of emotions? SS: Yeah. Probably the biggest thing as a city manager is I'm an extremely passionate person. But when you go through this process you become a whole lot more sensitive to others' feelings. I used to be known for saying, "It can't be that complicated, get it done." Well, after I had a chemical change, I perceived the impact that I was having on people, where in the past it just wasn't important. So those were the things I think most people felt that, "God what's going on with him, he seems so much more..." So he's nicer now? SS: "More patient, more empathetic, more responsive to our needs as a staff" than maybe I was in the past. I'm told I could be pretty insensitive and uncaring at times. I didn't believe it, but that's what I was told. Well, that's funny, because one of the things I had heard was that the commissioners who took it upon themselves to get rid of you had been burned in the past, and were just glad to get rid of you -- and if you've been changing in the last couple of years, are they just shooting themselves in the foot? I mean, did you burn some of these people, is that why they're coming after you, it has nothing to do with your gender change at all? SS: It's interesting, the e-mails I'm getting from people -- it's time for "justice," I think. During my 12 years in the city there have probably been 100 or so people that ... I've been substantially involved in their being promoted outside the organization, and we sometimes had conversations regarding, "If you can't do the job I'll do the job, but then I don't need you." This is a high-performing organization. We're not gonna play the game that a lot of governments do that you can't fight city hall and you can't fire a bureaucrat. We just never played those games in Largo, so if you couldn't do the job you weren't gonna stick around. And if supervisors didn't want to make sure people did their jobs, then they and the employee left the organization. So I've actually received a number of emails that have been reflective of people's certain amount of satisfaction that from their perspective, what went around, came around and hahaha. But that's part of the game of being a city manager... Well, then, that was working. So conversely don't we ask, if he's softening up, maybe he won't be as good? SS: No, I don't think... Just playing devil's advocate here, but the other part of this is, it kind of reinforces gender stereotypes what you've just said. I don't know, if I were a woman I'd feel, "Oh, I'm not tough enough, I mean I'm a woman, my hormones change and I'm not as mean?" SS: I don't think it ever got to the level with the commissioners where they said Steve's gone soft. If anything... No, I hadn't heard that either, but you're describing a transition into a different kind of manager which has to do with your hormonal change. SS: I think I was more empathetic, I could become a better manager. People in fact said, "Jeez, you've been so good to work with." I used to be known for The Stantonization Process: the phone call on Monday morning. And people for a while, they'd dread getting the phone call on Monday morning from the city manager. Instead of making the phone call the better option was to go to their office, sit down, communicate your concerns and that started to change a lot of people's experience of me during the past year. I guess the two people that saw that the most were the police chief and the fire chief because they tend to be more focused as masculine alpha males. And you were sort of a guy's guy according to some reports? Or at least you did a good job of seeming to be? SS: Yeah, well, I've always been a wannabe firefighter and a wannabe cop and I've always had fun in both of those worlds and both of those individuals came over and said "What's going on with you? You've got to talk to us." When did they do that? SS: About a year ago. They started coming in and closing the door: "Talk to us." And you told them then? SS: Eventually. It took a while before I wanted to burden them with the secret. And it is a burden. The mayor wasn't the first person you told? SS: No, the first person I told in the city organization was the city attorney. After that it was the fire chief, the police chief, the human resource director. And they were all supportive. And that was one of the things that was so striking about the media coverage [at first]... it did feel like you were going to have a pretty good ride in the beginning. SS: Yeah, it did, and I'm absolutely convinced that the direction that the commission took was profoundly impacted by two or three different churches that really conveyed ... moral outrage that anybody could change the image of man that God had perfected -- as I understand it. And the e-mails that we got, the nasty phone calls that we received, and all the hate that was conveyed to us ... very much impacted the political system to the extent that by the time Tuesday came, not only had commissioners deliberated extensively, but they'd already prepared their statements prior to the meeting. So it was unfortunate but highly predictable. We talked about that with my transition plan, that it takes about two weeks. When you tell somebody that you're transsexual, that has a profound impact on who they feel they were talking to -- that whole sense of... understanding. And that's a clinical response, that first I'm angry that I've been quote unquote deceived. That is the first clinical step when someone tells you something like this. The next step is ... understanding and almost empathy, and that was the most important part of the second aspect of our transition plan, getting people in that could say, this is what it is, this is what it's not, this is why people say what they are, this is why they retain it. And that never took place. It never took place. It stopped at anger. SS: It stopped at anger, deception and dishonesty, yeah. Did the police chief and the fire chief go through that same period of initial anger? SS: No, I think if anything because ... they're occupationally trained to deal with confidential medical information, there's not a whole lot you can tell someone in the public safety field. After a while we get real acclimated to things that you don't -- They can't be surprised easily. SS: We're not surprised, with the stuff that you see. No, they didn't have that feeling. Initially the human resources director did. Really? SS: She had the deer-in-the- headlight look without a doubt ... but she worked through it as well. When all was said and done, she said, "I'm a professional, let's see if we can get past this thing, let's roll, let's do it." And it's nothing if not a human resources problem. And it's right on her desk, right? SS: I forgot -- I guess the National League of Cities called me the other day, and we had submitted [an application for a] diversity award program -- and they were concerned given the fact that we had submitted this application and the city had done ... this, this thing Wait, wait back up. You just submitted for an award for diversity support in the city? When was that submitted? SS: A couple of months ago, I guess. And they were calling saying, "Let me tell you what we got a problem about here." SS: Yeah, and I discussed that, that the organization has done a lot about accommodating diversity, and we as a city have a pretty good track record in this area. We are hopefully going to get the award because of our past practice and the things that we had done as a city organization. I guess I would submit that a lot of the problems we had were not a direct result of the organizational dynamics as much as the political system was hijacked by a bunch of religious people that inserted its beliefs and distorted the decision-making of the city, and a very emotional public hearing. KD: It can come across that they speak on behalf of all people of faith. There are many, many people of faith who do not agree with the position that was put forth by this small group of very conservative Christian folk, and they're absolutely entitled to their own views and their own beliefs. This is not about changing anybody's belief system. All this is about is ... you just have to handle yourself in a professional manner in the workplace. You can believe and feel and think whatever you want... but it's about behavior, not about beliefs, and this particular group has a certain belief system. But they do not speak on behalf of the entire Christian faith community, and I think what we've seen is a spontaneous groundswell from other faith communities. SS: And I've just been inundated with calls from religious leaders. They've been calling the house, and sending flowers, and food -- it's just been something I never anticipated happening. What do you say to that reaction, "Well, Jesus would have fired you," which is one of those guys' claims? SS: I went to church, it was an empty church, I had a very intimate one-on-one conversation with my God. And it was "OK, Lord, I've done everything I was supposed to do, I've got 17 years invested. You tell me I'll walk through the gates of hell, and I'm goin', but I hope you know what you're doin' because I am so scared and I'm extremely spiritual, I'm not a sinner and I don't deserve to be condemned." I know it to be so because I've had that conversation with God. I don't know how to respond to people who've had an alternate conversation, I guess that's between them and their god. I don't know, I just don't know. I was surprised. What about Commissioner Guyette complaining that you had attended the same conference as he did and were dressing as a woman without telling him? SS: I think it's important to understand the medical protocol that a transsexual goes through when you're contemplating such a profound change of who you are. It was a supervised medical process to insure that you can interact on every aspect of who you're gonna be and what you're gonna be. In that situation, I think it was a Saturday, I interacted as Susan in the outside world in a way that was not disruptive. I registered with a different name, it was not under the name of the City of Largo, and I interacted very well to such an extent that nobody knew I was anything other than what I presented myself to be. Which is what you have to be able to do if you're going to be successful in this transition. It is required in order to do the gender reassignment, it was a medically prescribed process that was done in the consultation of two of my doctors, it was entirely appropriate and nothing was wrong with that. Now if you have the feeling that someone was running around in drag and embarrassing the city, I guess you probably would react as Commissioner Guyette might have, but again I think it's a lack of information, and responding from that emotional visceral point in your belly, and [not] based upon education and having an understanding of what the medical protocol is and why it's there. If anything I wanted to make sure I was just a faceless person in the crowd, that it was not disruptive, and the fact that nobody knew was in fact precisely what the medical protocol was designed to do. You did attend a seminar with Guyette? SS: I have no idea -- there were three, four thousand people there. You knew he was there. SS: There were many people there that I knew. Weren't you really -- scared? SS: Not at all, not at all. No? I mean that was really risky wasn't it? What if somebody said, "Steve's over there and he's dressed like a woman. What's up with that?" SS: Because, because, if you're very comfortable in your gender you have a presentation that does not look male. So you were essentially a different person and you were occupying that person's flesh -- it didn't feel like you were pretending. SS: Exactly -- it's not pretending, it's not dressing up, it's expressing who you are. If anything, I've been cross-dressing as a man the last 47 years. So I think there was more honesty in that presentation than in this presentation. But it is tricky, it is something you have to be very careful about. Had you been doing this enough so that it wasn't as scary? SS: That was asked at the news conference. Have you dressed on city business? When I heard that question, sitting there with all the lights: Did I ever come into a meeting at City Hall? Did I ever go to a meeting in another community as Steve in something other than professional male attire? No, of course not. A conference even though it's quote unquote city business, I think it's a different context of being out of town with a group of 3,000 people as opposed to walking into a room and then you are inserting a substantial amount of disruption and disunity into the work environment, and that is irresponsible. It's something I never did, and it's something I never would have done. Let's look at the happy ending you said (in one interview) you were naively hoping for -- and it still could happen. There will be a point, right, as part of this medically supervised transition and after talking to everyone in city hall, you will be coming to work dressed as a woman, correct? And won't that have to happen on a regular weekly basis prior to the reassignment? SS: Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. The other day one of the directors said to me... "Steve, I don't want to offend you, but I guess I saw you coming to work in a dress Aunt Bea was wearing. Your hair was all fluffy like Aunt Bea's." He was imagining this? SS: Yeah, and he said, "You had these goofy huge earrings on, and you wore these great big white pumps." This was a dream he had? SS: Yeah. It's just the things people think when they think of a guy coming to work dressed as a woman. Somebody you worked with. SS: Oh absolutely, a good friend. And they were being very honest with me, with their fears and trepidations. I said, "I would think your reactions would be extremely appropriate, and it probably looks stupid in your dream as well. So I'm not comin' to work lookin' like Aunt Bea, and I'm not going to dress in drag. KD: Steve is a conservative, professional, deliberative person. Aunt Bea's conservative. .. KD: Susan's going to be a conservative, professional, deliberative person. The person of Susan is the same as the person of Steve. He has not undergone a personality transplant, that he's going to dress in flamboyant clothing, have big old gaudy earrings, look like Aunt Bea. Well, what is your personal style as a woman? SS: Same as a guy. It's very conservative. What kind of clothes, hairstyle? Have you imagined this? SS: Well, absolutely. One of the things I was predicating that quote unquote transition plan is I want to have my own hair. So it was something as basic as that. I need to have my hair grow. As a guy I got a haircut every other week, sometimes every week. So I've had to let it grow, I don't want to grow make-believe hair. That was going to take time just to let my hair grow. I would be wearing the same kind of business suits I do as a guy, only more feminine, and as a woman, but it would not be looking like the Aunt Bea people had envisioned in their dreams, which again is a very humanistic, understandable fear. During the meetings a couple of times, I was joking with the cops. We were joking about these whole aspects of me coming to work as a woman, and they were trying to understand what that meant. So they were asking good questions, "If you get past this, do you still want to come out with us?" The cops were asking you that? SS: Absolutely. You know, are you still going to want to train with the SWAT team? Well, why would I not want to train with the SWAT team? The cover of Creative Loafing this week is going to be the Largo city seal with WRONG across it in rainbow-colored letters. How do you respond to that? SS: The City of Largo is a city of progress, and I've said... I'm not saying that's wrong, I'm saying the city of Largo made a mistake-- SS: They made a mistake, they made a mistake-- And they're wrong about it, and they should fix it. SS: I'm hopin' that they will. I'm realistic, it may be too late for them to go back and undo what time has done, but certainly as media continues to expand and I become more of a public figure that may or may not be possible. My first love is being manager of an organization I've devoted 17 years to and I believe it's possible. It's not going to be easy. I indicated in my letter to employees that the transition is going to be awkward, and it was going to require a tremendous amount of sensitivity and flexibility and I suspect a certain degree of good humor on my part. On everybody's. SS: Moreso me. When you do as much training with as many employees as I do, if you can't laugh at yourself at the potential absurdity of these kind of changes...then you oughta stay home. You oughta stay home. Tell me about your job. What would be a typical day for you as a city manager? SS: I had the best job in the city, and I still have the best job in the city. I've not been fired yet. I was always known for getting out and about. The week prior to this thing blowing up I was working on a street crew -- um, digging out a median -- so that a fire truck I was on six weeks ago could make the turn easier. Because I listened to everybody in the back of the truck whine about the fact that they couldn't go over the median, so I said, "I can do that." And someone said, "It's not as easy as you think it is, boss." "Well, tell you what -- put me on the work site, let me see how complicated this can be." Sure enough, it was more complicated than I thought. KD: But you got it fixed, didn't you? SS: Well, I was out there with the axe and shovel... How's it been with your family? SS: My family's been outstanding, just amazing. We were under stress, knowing that this disclosure was coming in April -- actually the end of May. This was part of the eight-page plan [that you and the mayor devised for the transition]. SS: My wife and I started a plan 24 months ago. Really? Is that part of the process with a couple? SS: It's part of the process of making sure that your wife doesn't kill you at the time you discuss all this. She had to go back to get some good education to get a new career because we both knew that... if this thing went real poor I could be unemployable, which is a fate that often happens to transsexuals once they come out and tell their employer. So she had to generate a good income. What does she do? SS: She takes ultrasounds of people's hearts. So it's taken a lot of time and energy -- she's an extremely brilliant, passionate, exciting, devoted person. The last six months is when she went out and started doing her clinicals before she was licensed, and the last six months was then my responsibility to start preparing my world in the same way she was hers, and everything was working well until a reporter came into my office and said, "Can we talk? We got word that you're getting ready to make a big announcement about your change in gender." And all I could think of was, "Houston, we've got a problem. We have got a problem." And it would have happened in May. The commissioners would have known by then? SS: We were trying to give them a week, possibly two. You don't tell people you're a transsexual and expect that they're not going to tell somebody else. And when you tell commissioners ... and hope that you're going to keep this secret contained ... [That] was something we never came to terms with -- we assumed we'd do the best we could -- it was always the weak spot in the plan. Once you tell the elected officials, could they keep the confidence and/or would they feel compelled to ... disclose it to the general community because [they] have concerns about your mental stability if you're going to be doing this -- that was always a concern as well, how would they react, because unfortunately we'd had to give the test prior to the lesson, and you typically don't want to do that in life. And they haven't done too well on the test, have they? SS: Each one of these people are my personal friends -- we have all been thrust in this situation. I'm still naïve enough to believe they can do the right thing. I'm hopin'. Have you talked to them since the hearing? SS: Actually, there was some discussion about getting together for a dinner with me and my wife. Who was that? SS: I won't -- these are people that are friends with one another, it's like, well, it's not personal. Let's all sit around, have dinner. KD: I threw you under the bus, but I still like ya. SS: It's nothing personal, business is business, let's get on with life here. But these are personal friends. Like you have had dinner with them. SS: I've been in their homes, I know their kids, I know what their dogs' name is for heaven's sakes -- we're a very close community, and if I didn't think that the city had the ability to right a wrong, I'd do like many a city manager would, I'd put down my weapon and go find another battle to fight, but I've got 17 years in this city. It is the city of progress, the outpouring of support is consistent with my belief that I know Largo is a great community. It must have been tough during that whole Human Rights Ordinance controversy. Were you feeling any amount of guilt that you couldn't come out and say, "I know what you're talking about from personal experience?" SS: No, it wasn't guilt. It was shame. I had an employee come into my office. My office is a beautiful office. I have a nice $7,000 table that whenever anyone puts a coffee cup on it I convey to them it's a $7,000 table, they need to use a coaster. So coming into this very nice office with this very big expensive table is very intimidating. So this employee came into my office and was shaking, shaking. She said, "Can I talk to you, Mr. Stanton?" She sat down at this $7,000 big table in this beautiful office -- going to speak to the city manager is the equivalent of going to speak to the principal in high schoool, I guess, and she was literally shaking in her chair. And she said, "Do you mind, and will I get fired, if I go to the meeting tonight to tell the commission that I'm not evil, even though I'm gay I'm not a bad person, I just want to let them know I mow my lawn, I pay my taxes, I come to work every day and I'm a good person. Will I be fired if I tell them that?" Knowing, watching this person, sitting, shaking, how much courage it took to come in my office, how much it took for her to do that, and there I sat hiding behind the business suit, hoping that this person wouldn't judge me the way that people have judged me today, as deceptive and [cowardly], by those people who screamed, "Jesus would fire him, and you should too!" What did you say to this person? SS: I said, "Of course not." You definitely need to feel comfortable communicating that info to the commission, and you have our support, and your job is not in danger. Whatever I can do to support you. And she's still with us, one of our best productive employees. Despite her sexual orientation, she's a good wholesome God-fearing loving person. Maybe because of her sexual orientation. SS: Probably irrespective of her sexual orientation -- it wasn't relevant. Maybe because of her ability to be open about it. Isn't that one of the arguments you're making, that you're going to be a better city manager once you're fully yourself? SS; Again I analogize with having a real expensive car that's only operating on four out of the eight cylinders. If I can get the entire engine all working in the same direction, I think this car can be a better car, a high-performing car, and ultimately a better city manager. I believed it, I still believe it, I'm confident city commission will do the right thing, and if not life has other plans. Are you going to stay married? SS: It's a real personal issue. I love my wife dearly, she's been a real trouper through all this. As I've stated, this is a wife's worst nightmare. That's a very personal question, we both love each other dearly, no matter what our marital status is anytime in the future, we're still going to be a mom and a dad to a real exciting, energized little boy and we're going to be partners in life, irrespective of what the status of our marriage may or may not be. Can I ask you another personal question? SS: You can ask me anything you want. You're not going to ask a bra size like somebody else did? I already heard that -- B, right? KD: I can't believe you answered it. SS: Yeah, I did, I don't mind answering personal questions, but come on. KD: The attorney and client have the same bra size, all right? This question comes partly from the fact that I'm a gay man myself. SS: I did not know that. You seem like a nice person. Oh thank you. In spite of all that. Thank you. And they let me keep my job, amazingly enough. KD: Creative Loafing, the paper of progress. Exactly. I think ... a lot of people in the LGBT community have questions about the T... SS: You know, I didn't even know what the LGB...P community was... Until... SS: Until I walked into [Karen's] office and her secretary said, "We do the L...BTG people," and I said, "Who are those people?" Do you know they've added I and Q now? I didn't realize the I. The Q I knew, but I didn't know the I. KD: And some people say IQQ -- it's intersex, questioning and queer. SS: Well I'm just getting used to the LG and the... KD: BT. SS: ...BT thing. Well, one of the assumptions both among straight and "G" people is that someone who's transgender is actually gay, and among some gay people it's... "Transgenders are buckling under, why don't they just come out, live as a gay man and avoid all this surgical stuff?" SS: Yeah, I've heard that transsexuals are gay men in denial. Right, so that the question is, are you sexually attracted to men, or to women, or haven't you decided yet? SS: You know, I wish I was. I mean, it takes a real man to become a woman. I've heard that line somewhere. SS: Gosh, I mean when someone is putting a needle in your face and squeezing electricity through it [for electrolysis treatments] and... If it was just a matter of me saying I'm gay, let's get on with with life -- oh, that would have been so easy. I suspect if I had stood up in the news conference and said I was gay, nobody would have given a darn. I wish I was gay. It would have been so much easier. If it were so, I wish, but no, I wish it were that easy. So the more likely scenario -- if you don't remain married to your wife, who is heterosexual -- would be a lesbian relationship? SS: Yeah, this is always a fascinating conversation because people do seem to relate sexuality and sexual orientation with gender expressions, and I've introspectively reflected on this in both an academic and a personal way, and decided I have no idea. That is as irrelevant to me as the surgery. People keep saying to me, "When are you going to have the surgery?" I have no idea. It's irrelevant. Who cares? It's not on a schedule or something? I mean, you have this planned, right? SS: It's about a year but I'm not fixated about it. Some transsexuals get the surgery, some don't. So it's not a given that you would. SS; Nothing's a given. Yeah, I want to, but will I do it or not? I don't know. Will I be married to a guy someday or a girl? Jeez, I don't know. At this point, I'm just trying to pick up the pieces and move forward. And sometimes it's best not to answer all the questions because you don't know what the questions are. And God knows, only He knows the answers. He hasn't revealed all that to me, but in due time I'm confident that He will let me know. Do you belong to a church in the area? Or did you? SS: You know... the one area I'm very protective of... is my faith. I don't talk about where I go to church because as soon as I do that there's going to be camera crews showing up one day. I try not to discuss that. My faith was extremely relevant in order to stand up before all those cameras and all those photographers and talk about such a personal intimate topic. Where I go is something that's extremely private ---- it's the only question where I've said, I'm not going to tell you where I go and what I believe. I have a close relationship with my god. Can I ask whether anyone at your church, your pastor has reached out to you and given you support? SS: I've got a close relationship with my god. May I say I really hope it wasn't one of those churches that was at the hearing? SS: What I've also not done is focus on who spilled the beans, cause that stuff will just eat you up. I'm sure there was a reason for it to be done now and not later. One of the things, I was just shocked, Karen knows I've had a lot of tears with her over this thing, I didn't realize there was so many people out in this [LGBT] community. I didn't realize there were organizations that Karen's a part of, and people in Washington that are now focused, and the e-mails, I just did not know. You're suddenly getting support from all over the place, is that right? SS: Oh, yeah, and in ways -- I don't know if I'm worthy to be part of this, I'm just trying to be me, Lord, if you tell me I can do this, I will. All these interviews, OK, I'm just a city manager trying to get along here, and all of a sudden they want me to talk on Nightline and all these newspaper magazines and all I'm trying to do is just be me. KD: That's one of many, many media requests. [My office is] now scheduling all media requests and interviews. I think because city manager is a high-profile professional manager, I think the fact that Steve has been so good at his job -- Excellent reviews, pay raise. KD: Just recently a big pay raise -- you know, you don't give somebody a $10,000 pay raise if they're not doing a good job, and any city manager that has no conflict whatsoever with anybody is not doing their job. So sure, some people don't like him, some do like him, but he has moved the city of Largo forward -- it's just remarkable. I deal with city management all over the country... and without question the City of Largo is one of the most professional in the country. The irony of all this is just unbelievable -- but to Steve's credit it is not the professionals who he supervised that have had the problems, it's the elected officials. And again even the elected officials have acted very humanly, as absolutely would be anticipated when you hear this kind of secret without the appropriate preparation -- and the management team had prepared for this and would have educated them in advance. Even Mary Black? KD: You know, even with education, some people choose to take a position based on their belief system. [She's not] using it as a political launching pad? KD: Well, it worked for Ronda Storms. I don't know, maybe it'll work for Mary Black. Do you think that's a fair assessment, though? SS: You know, Mary's a very principled person -- one thing I'll give Commissioner Black credit for, she's been the most consistent on this issue. True. SS: Because initially when I talked to each of the commissioners individually they were supportive, embracing. When was that? SS: That day prior to the news conference. The time frame of the revelation again? SS: Lorri Helfand, of the St. Petersburg Times, came to me on a Tuesday. I after a while said, "Let me call your editors up." They said we'll give you a day, we'll give you 24 hours, we'll run the story on Thursday, as long as you meet with our reporter on Wednesday. Of course after the reporter did her thing I needed to talk with city staff. I started doing that, then the Times was concerned after I started talking to department directors-- That they'd lose the story. SS: They would lose the story, so they put it on the Internet around 3 in the afternoon, and within a half hour our entire parking lot was full of trucks with great big sticks in the sky. The Times didn't warn you it was going to be on tampabay.com before it went up? How did you find out? SS: The camera trucks started coming into the parking lot. That's what tipped you off? SS: We don't miss a thing here in Largo. We looked out that window and said, "Oh God..." I think someone in the communications and marketing department knew they were going to put this on the Web. So they didn't live up to their end of the bargain? SS: Well no, they didn't, but I don't blame them, you just don't tell someone you're transsexual and expect that information to stay. Other than disclosing the story, I think the Times has done a pretty good job of trying to cover the issue. In the Clearwater office, when I went to talk to [the managing editor] he must have had five or six people apologetic for the Tampa Bay whatever it is. tbt*. SS: The "A Boy Named Sue" headline. When I first saw that, I thought it was cute myself -- 'cause when I was a kid I used to think the boy named Susan was [me]. Had you already picked out the name "Susan"? SS: No, my mom told me at a very early age. When the song came out, there was an identification with that song -- and all of a sudden there's my picture and "A Boy Named Sue." I giggled at it at first -- but everybody else conveyed how upset they were -- and it was done in a disparaging, denigrating way, and it got like, my sense of humor is not appropriate in this situation. There are a couple of questions you had raised in the WMNF interview, like, What do we call you? And what restrooms do you use? SS: Yeah, at this point it's ... because I haven't externally, even though ... let's leave it there. To the city, that was a concern, and they asked me, because of the sensitivity, don't use the men's room no more, and don't use the men's locker room. So what we did is took bathrooms that were girl on one side and boy on the other side and just made them unisex -- that's what a lot of companies do. It's just not a problem. KD: And as far as pronoun usage ... right now he is presenting and dressing as Steve, so the appropriate pronoun is the male pronoun he. When he begins dressing full time 24/7 as Susan, then the appropriate pronoun will be she. Before the City Commission did what it did, he was going to being living as Susan on April 2. So again right now I think it's still in flux when Steve is going to begin living as Susan. I have to tell you, we did a couple of trainings on Tuesday before the City Commission meeting -- they invited us to do some trainings for city employees ... and it was great, we had a whole spectrum of folks, we had people who were 150 percent behind their city manager ... to others who were, this is somebody I work with every day, I relate to him as a guy, I share things with him, and I relate to guys differently than I relate to women. So when I said when Steve becomes Susan it's still the same person inside, the response was, "No, I don't believe you. But I'm a professional ... and we'll have to work out what the personal friendship thing is, but I know that this is a workplace and I know how to be professional and I will absolutely do that." And that is the classic example of when education is done right, transitions in the workplace can work out. So that's somebody who personally was still going through that process of figuring out for himself what this all meant. This is somebody who I'm guessing was a personal friend of Steve Stanton who's saying I don't know how to relate now to Susan Stanton. And that's real human. In some ways you are different. SS: Oh, absolutely. And when you talk about people changing, we're all born with a core set of values that does not change, our likes our dislikes, how we hold ourselves out as human beings does not change. That week -- a prior week -- I was out with our fire guys -- we were literally on the top of the Tropicana dome, on the C ring, we were rappelling off this thing, and it's 300 feet down to the ground, and someone tells me after I've gone up and down the line, why don't you bring up the rope and we'll get it set for somebody? Oh, OK, so I start walking and I start pulling this rope up -- and I can't pull the rope up. I can get it six inches at a clip, but I don't have that physical strength anymore. So in that situation people would have to relate to me differently. The need for interacting with the highly skilled people in our department is not going to change, but you have to understand I can't do like I used to because I don't have the physicality that I did before. So in that sense it's changed, but my values will not change and that's something that people have to come to terms with, which is logical and understandable. But there's also a certain amount of loss you have to come to terms with yourself, of the things that you used to be able to do. Is that something that you think about sometimes? SS: I don't think I'm going to lose anything. I mean in terms of that kind of strength -- is that something you feel like you're going to miss? SS: No, I never liked that full exertion anyway. Typically because of my role in the organization, someone else did the dirty work anyway. I physically can't do it now. If anything, I try not to generalize about the superiority of the feminine sex as opposed to the other one. You mean the idea that while [you're] choosing the other one [you] must feel it's superior... you don't want to give that impression? SS: Putting aside the aspect of inferiority or superiority, the transsexual individual is uniquely situated to have experiential growth in both genders that neither gender can have unless you've been in both. And it's just been fascinating, this metamorphosis, it's been fascinating from an academic, introspective perspective -- fascinating -- It's gotta be. SS: I sound like Spock -- it's fascinating. Well, no, you're -- I mean all these questions we're having about gender, what it means, you're gonna live through what it means to you viscerally to be a man to be a woman -- and what it means to move through society. You've done that already when you've cross-dressed. SS: It's not cross-dressing, it's being yourself, it's a matter of gender identification. The times you've transitioned -- what's the best verb to use when you're dressing as a woman? SS: You're not dressing as a woman, you're presenting yourself, you're presenting your own identity, your gender. When you've presented, if you... One of the things you were saying that you came to terms with in that Harvard conference was the loss of power as a white male. Have you experienced that loss of power when you've been moving in the world as a woman, and said, "Whoa, I would never let them get away with that if I were a man?" SS: No, if anything, if you're in the world of women people tend to buy you drinks. Has that happened to you? SS: Oh, absolutely.. . The first time someone ever did that, I did what any guy would do, I freaked out. Really? SS: Yeah, I mean, why's this person walking up to me? Because you're not a guy, that's why. So then what? Did you let him buy you the drink? SS: No, I scared him off. And I made him feel bad, and he had this look of dejection on his face. And he went away hating women again. SS: Absolutely. And I thought about, jeez, why did I do that? Cause I could remember women doin' that to me. So there was a learning opportunity there. So have you had subsequent opportunity to accept a drink? SS; Yeah, because it's easier and more natural to do that if someone is doing it for just an act of kindness and seeing a single woman by themselves -- absolutely. So you must be a pretty attractive chick -- men buying you drinks... SS: I don't know -- it's natural to me. Some people can do it easier than others -- I've got a small build and small hands and size 8-and-a-half foot -- so most women are bigger than I am so it's not a problem. [Karen laughing] SS: What size shoe do you have? KD: 8-and-a-half. SS: Oh, OK, there you go, so we can share shoes. KD: Wanna wear my flip flops? SS: No, I hate flip flops. KD: Of course you do... Is he the highest-ranking official to do this? KD: To publicly transition. There may have been people who transitioned before [they took office]... but in government as far as we know he's the only city manager who has tried to transition on the job. SS: I'm not aware of anybody on this level. Probably because smart people realize that it could [lead to] this. KD: And a lot of folks would take the easier road, and again I think this speaks volumes about Steve's character. SS: Or stupidity. KD: They would resign their position, transition, and then go try and find something else -- because it's too painful, it's too public, it's too high-profile. SS: Which I talked about in my letter to employees. A while back I broke my nose training with our SWAT team. We play hard, and you know I had this machine gun, and they're coming at me with this great big shield, and there's seven of them and one of me, and I have this very powerful weapon that hurts when you get hit, so you don't want to get hit if you don't have to. And they're coming at me and I'm thinking if I can just reload, and by the time I got done doing that, I've got seven people on top of me and they broke my nose. And a couple of them said, "Why don't you give up?" and I said I can't do that. I'm not one to lay down my weapon just because it becomes difficult. If you knock me on my butt, OK, but it's not in my personal constitution to lay my weapon down, I can't do that, and that's why we're here today. I can't walk away from a job I love and a profession I've devoted so much time to. Knock me on my butt and take my weapon away, I'll go home, but I can't walk away, it's not in my nature. You know, the "lay my weapon down" image has other connotations. SS: What connotation does it have? Educate me. If you're looking at masculine identity, penis as weapon, you're laying it down if you're [cutting] it off. SS: God, that's weird. Sorry. SS: Oh, that's so Freudian. I know, but it's there, right? SS: Oh, God, I thought y'all died a long time ago. No, I don't relate to any Freudian psychology. That's not completely out of left field, it's kind of ... KD: This is my weapon, this is my gun. It's not just Freudian, it's about male force being equated with male genitalia, so that -- I mean, that's one of the things you're talking about when you're talking about fearing losing the power of being a white male. For whatever reason, those associations are made -- you don't have your weapon anymore. KD: I think there's like a military expression -- a weapon is the neutral, you know, bang-bang, and a gun is your male genitalia. Really? There's a distinction? KD: This my gun, this is my weapon. SS: Jeez, this is so far above me, I've never heard of-- KD: I don't know, that's what I get for marrying a Navy girl. SS: This must be a GBLT thing. That's what all of us with those initials talk about all the time. See what you've been missing? SS: I know, I never thought I was as odd as I maybe am, with the weapon and the gun and giving it up. KD: Well, that will be for others to analyze. Indeed it will. I imagine the gay press has been approaching you? KD: I've done a number of interviews with the LGBT press. The answer is yes, and GenderPAC has requested an interview with [Steve]. The National Center for Transgender Equality has been great. As a matter of fact their executive director is flying in tomorrow. What's really funny is this has become our full-time job 24/7 at both NCLR and the National Center for Transgender Quality -- this story, this case. I have two phones -- my office phone and my cell phone -- I'm on one and the other one rings. But It's about public education, and again this is one of the things about Steve that's so admirable. Not only is he committed to being true to himself, he's committed to this process being about something bigger than him. So he's willing to speak out about deeply intimate, deeply private details of his life [Steve cringes comically] in the hope that it will help others in the future -- and not every client that we have is willing to do that. SS: As a small kid I can remember waking up, thinking, "Am I bad?" You know from an early age that you're profoundly different. You create victims, you create deception that people perceive when they don't know who you are because you don't know who yourself is. So hopefully when all this is done, to me the true test is when some small kid wakes up in the middle of the night thinking at age 5 or 6, his parents will be able to recognize, "Well then, maybe it's this," and maybe there's a way of dealing with that in a responsible fashion instead of finding out 10 minutes before a news conference, that... "Omigod you've gotta be kidding!" A lot of transgendered characters [have been surfacing in pop] culture -- were they speaking to you at all? Hedwig? Crying Game? SS: Without sounding like a nerd, I don't watch those things. I watch C-Span and The History Channel. So all these shows that people talk about I've never seen, I've never heard of these ... All these popular things -- I didn't know the BLGT group. I can remember recognizing gay feelings back as far as I was 9. But that's about [feeling] attracted to the same sex. It's not about questioning your gender. So how does that realization come to you as a child? SS: Yeah, great question. One of the defining diagnostic necessities when you're diagnosed with gender disorder is early childhood sensitivities to this, and when you're young you know you're different you don't even know how. When I was a kid I used to love going to the candy store in my sister's shoes. Why did I want to go in my ... I have no idea, but I knew when I wore my sister's shoes it was right, it was good, but I also knew how profoundly wrong it was. No matter the time of year, I took 'em off before I went into the candy store. I never told my parents about it. As a small child I longed to find out what it was, that's why I asked my mom, when I was 7 or 8, what my name would have been if I were a girl -- this is a small kid asking this --and when she said Susan it just kind of exploded in my head. So when I hear people now having kids that they think are transgendered and they're making these very difficult parental choices, introducing drugs to postpone the onset of puberty so they don't have to do what I've done with this electrolysis in your face and other parts of your body, which is very painful, if you can spare some of this trauma, physical, mental, emotional, societal, other families, this would be great. So I mean hopefully, I don't know what my future is in Largo, I hope I get my job back, if not, God has a plan. If not, I'm pretty positive and pretty confident that when all is said and done, when all this is behind us, especially with all the press, maybe people will say that you can be transsexual, you can be city manager of a large organization with thousands of employees, with hundreds of millions of dollars, and you can still be a productive member of society, and that's OK. If I can achieve that, all of this will be reflectively irrelevant and all worth the journey. Just one more question -- about [Equality Florida Executive Director Nadine Smith, arrested during the Largo City Commission hearing for allegedly handing out flyers]: As a city manager, did you remember any policy that prevented fliers from being handed out at public meetings? SS: Well, yeah, I guess so. I mean, typically -- this is where I get these cross loyalties -- typically when we have a public gathering like that, the issuance of fliers sometimes does develop confrontational exchanges between people, and if they do fall on the ground, it sounds absurd, but people are going to slip on them. We try not to encourage people to do that type of thing -- I don't know the particular circumstances, all those guys I trained with and they're pretty sophisticated in this area -- I wasn't briefed prior to and after, but typically I had been involved in those decisions. [Long pause] KD: Is a flier --? There's some question as to whether she was actually handing them out. KD: If somebody asks for a piece of paper-- And you give it to them, and then you ask the cop why, and the officer does not respond, and instead gets rougher with you? KD: Actually, as your attorney I'm going to ask you not to answer that question. SS: I'm right in the middle of this thing. KD: I think this is best if he doesn't comment on that particular circumstance. I mean there are criminal charges against her, which hopefully when the state attorney evaluates, the state attorney will drop those charges and that'll be that. But you know there are questions about how that was all handled. He doesn't have any personal knowledge of that. You were otherwise engaged. SS: They acted appropriately -- they escorted me out of the building, my e-mail account was dropped. I was proud of everybody, without commenting on the [Smith] situation. KD: He was on the dais when the incident happened. He was not present for any of that. Are you the top dog? Or is the mayor your boss? SS: In our organization, the mayor is the political leader of the commission, but in terms of who gives direction to cops, etc, the city manager is extremely influential. More power than the mayor or the commission. SS: I don't want to say power -- but ability to hire, appoint and direct resources -- I have, the mayor does not. I mean I've hired every executive manager in that city except one [finance director]. Irrespective of my future, when I said I am Largo, I've hired everybody and long after I'm gone, my philosophy, my values, my way of doing certain things will live on in that organization in ways that other managers can have a career of 25 or 30 years and never have an experience like a Largo. So our cover idea is kind of personally upsetting. SS: Yeah, I love my city. I couldn't endorse that. It's a good organization. Steve Stanton's story: 'I can't walk away, it's not in my nature': An interview with Largo's suddenly famous transsexual city..

Transsexual in Evening Gowns

Beautiful, aren't they??!!!!! Enjoy Carolyn

Transsexual Swimsuit Competition

Enjoy!!!! Carolyn

Miss International Queen 2006

ciao ciao Carolyn

Miss International Queen 2006

ciao ciao Carolyn

Dion Summers - Her First Drag Queen Show

ciao ciao Carolyn

A Beautiful Chinese NewHalf

Free Report For Every Online Marketer Reveals Every Single Tool He Uses To Run My Million Dollar Online Business... "See Every Tool I Use To Run My Entire Online Empire with All of the Junk Left Out to Save You Precious Time and Money As You Build Your Profit Making Business" Look here --> http://tinyurl.com/2ygvmg ciao ciao Carolyn Get The Resource Report now... Click here!

Liu Xuanyi - I met her in real life!

Liu was with a Chinese Delegation in Berlin for a Cultural Week and I met her. She is incredibly feminine and she wrote a saying in Chinese for me. "Always be true to yourself" I still have it. ciao ciao Carolyn

Pamela - a Gorgeous Transsexual

ciao ciao Carolyn

Strange Transformation!

ciao ciao Carolyn

TV Appearance of Alexia

Wow!!! I wish I had her body and good looks. I am so so envious!!!!!!!! ArHHHHHH! I guess I will just have to learn to be a plain jane transsexual..,,.... ciao ciao Carolyn

Beautiful Transsexuals on TV in N

Enjoy the Amazon Shop at the bottom of this page! ciao ciao Carolyn

A Webcam Striptease

ciao ciao Carolyn PS - take a look for your desires in the Amazon Shop at the bottom of this page!!!

Sex Change Report

Having a sex change is something I have always wanted. I will be having this done to myself very soon. ciao ciao Carolyn

Steve Stanton - Getting Fired Just for being Transsexual

Officials in Florida city move to fire transgender city manager

LGBT-rights group denounce vote, say it violates Largo’s own policies Steve Stanton bows his head as he listens to Largo city commissioners discuss his fate.

A move by city commissioners in Largo, Fla., this week to fire long-time City Manager Steve Stanton because he announced that he is transgender and will soon begin the process of transitioning from male to female has drawn widespread criticism from LGBT rights organizations.

The commissioners voted 5-to-2 on Tuesday night, Feb. 27, to fire Stanton, with the mayor and one other commissioner voting in dissent.The Human Rights Campaign, one of several organizations to condemn the vote, issued a statement on Wednesday calling the move a “direct violation of the city government’s own internal non-discrimination policy.”

A city policy adopted in 2003 “explicitly prohibits discrimination in public employment on the basis of gender identity and expression,” HRC’s statement said.HRC President Joe Solmonese called the vote to oust Stanton “a shameful display of ignorance and bias.”Mara Keisling, executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality said Stanton’s situation is “a crystal clear example of the type of employment discrimination that transgender people experience every day around the U.S. … He is being fired for one reason: He made the brave decision to live openly as his true self. …

Sadly, the firing of Steve Stanton is another in a long, shameful line of examples of why Congress must introduce—and pass—the Employment Non-Discrimination Act.”

--------------------------------------------

It is unfortunately very very common for transsexuals. Say the truth of your feelings, and people do not want to have anything to do with you any more.

What is your opinion??? Please make a comment!

Carolyn

She is not the Man I Married - 2

ciao ciao Carolyn - look at the Amazon Store at the bottom of this page for books, DVDs, clothing and more for your own feminine needs.......

She is not the Man I Married

ciao ciao Carolyn

Interview in Spanish with a Transsexual

Do you love transsexuals? Then look back in the archives on this site for much much more. ciao ciao Carolyn

Interview in Spanish with a Transsexual

Do you love transsexuals? Then look back in the archives on this site for much much more. ciao ciao Carolyn

Johanna

I think Johanna is a very very attractive transsexual. ciao ciao Carolyn - PS - take a look at my Amazon Shop at the bottom!